Your child has the opportunity to speak all day, but sometimes opportunity isn't enough. Your child needs a motivating reason to communicate! Children need us to give them the opportunity to communicate their wants and needs independently. Creating communication temptations is a technique to develop a child’s initiation and functional communication.
WHY? We know our children better than anyone else on the planet. We are in tune to their every need, mood, frustration, curiosity, and disappointment. It’s natural to anticipate what our child wants or needs, and help them get it. However, if we are constantly giving our children everything they need, they have no reason to communicate in these moments. We need to give children a reason to come to us and initiate an interaction. Communication temptations can provide gentle motivators for children to express those wants and needs, and have a huge impact on a child’s functional communication.
Communication temptations also give children the opportunity to be the initiator of communication, rather than a responder to questions or requests to talk. As well-meaning caregivers, we often rely on questions to tempt them to talk (“What’s this?” “What is the doggie doing?” “What color is it?”) or command them to talk (i.e, “Say apple!”). These types of interactions naturally set our child up to be a responder, rather than an initiator. Furthermore,
- Being told to say something might get a child to say a word, but does not teach them the true value of communication or how to initiate a social interaction.
- Answering questions is often not very motivating and can be stressful for little ones, who are still trying to figure out how language works.
- Questions also tend to limit a child to use one word answers, which does not allow for the opportunity to practice trying new vocabulary or start combining words together.
HOW? Communication temptations set up the environment in a way that entices your child to ask for something or direct you in a way that results in a positive experience. Sometimes we have to purposefully create these opportunities. In general, communication temptations involve “playing dumb”, waiting, or doing something out of routine. Children are more likely to communicate with you because something unexpected has happened!
Waiting is a powerful tool. Waiting during everyday activities and routines:
- Tickle your child once and wait.
- Swing your child once and wait. Pull the swing up to the top and wait.
- Pour only a little water into your child’s cup and wait.
- Give your child a snack in a package he cannot open and wait.
- At mealtime, give your child an empty bowl and wait.
- Put your child in the bathtub without turning the water on and wait.
- Put one of your child’s shoes on and hand them the other one and wait.
- Begin playing catch with a ball and hold the ball as if to throw it and wait.
- Pull the bubble wand out of the bottle and wait.
- Give your child a container they cannot open (such as Play-doh) and wait.
- Begin playing with your child’s favorite toy without offering to share and wait.
- Walk to the door to go outside, but before opening it wait.
- Randomly pause while pushing your child in the stroller and wait.
These ideas may not work right away. They may be frustrating for both you and your child initially. If you create the opportunity and your child doesn’t respond, just show them what they could say or do and move on. Your child will learn from your examples.
One last note: Communication is not only about using words. Children (and adults!) also communicate through body language, facial expressions, gestures, and eye contact. Communication temptations help children learn how to initiate, which is an important foundation of social interaction and communication.
If you have concerns or questions about your child’s speech-language development we are now offering free screenings! Visit eastersealsci.com/screenings for more information.
